Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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