I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize