She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize