Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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