omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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