Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
