Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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