Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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