porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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