I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize