Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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