Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen

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(423): View more from Tennessee

NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog

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(240): View more from Maryland

captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.

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(253): View more from Washington

girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends

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(630): View more from Illinois

He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?

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(443): View more from Maryland

its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike

(303): View more from Colorado

you still have morals?

(443): View more from Maryland

Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...

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