found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
