a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
