You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
