its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
