Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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