arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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