i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize