summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
