I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
