her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Congratulations! We have a period
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