He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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