one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The best revenge is premature balding
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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