i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
