She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize