I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
