It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize