I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
