Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
