You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
