Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
