who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
