i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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