Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
