Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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