Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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