omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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