I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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