It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize