Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Drunk is a universal language darling
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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