It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize