I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
