meet me or not, i'm out of control
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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