Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize