weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
