OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
