Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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