hotel room ftw
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
