Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
