i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Blood and glitter go together right?
I need moral support for this bender
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
