I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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