At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish i was in the wii world.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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