I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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