i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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