thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
