he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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