Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
