i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
