And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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