these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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