i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I supernannyed him into submission
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
