omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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